whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm passing your future prison.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize