her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
