ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
