How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
