Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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