Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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