Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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