your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just pynch a tree in the face
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
