They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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