i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
