Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
