I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
