you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
