I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
