The maid of honor just puked.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize