I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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