when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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