and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
