thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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