Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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