I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
