He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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