So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
