Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
