all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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