you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
