I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
