I'm really into asian looking animals
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize