I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
