I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
