Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
