Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
