Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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