Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
