What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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