If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize