i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
