we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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