i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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