You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
