the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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