Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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