If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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