So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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