i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize