We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
