i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
