we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I died a long time ago.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
