Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize