Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
