Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
