im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I understand Curling. That high.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
