you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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