I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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