I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
