PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
