I think I am morally bankrupt
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think I just sharted jello shots
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
