did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
