She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
