Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
