found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize