Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
