Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Panties = found
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