I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize