The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is my gift to your gina
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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