The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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