if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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