what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
