I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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