My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
