Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
lets start a swedish sibling band together
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
