What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
