dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
