Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think people are normalizing furries
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
