On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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