I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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