There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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