THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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