I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
