I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
