So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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