I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
