I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
